50 by 60 UPDATE: 50 things to do before I turn Sixty

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In March of 2021, at 59 years-old, well into the COVID pandemic, I created a list 50 by 60: 50 Things to do Before I Turn Sixty.

Since I created that list, the world went wonky and I stopped blogging for a long while. I’m back. Alas, the world is still wonky, but that just means I’m even more grateful for my journey.

Making lists work much like a visionary board. They keep me focused on what I hope to accomplish and help me plan and stay on task. I wonder though, why some items, important enough that I listed them, later became unimportant.

I feel angst when I haven’t checked everything off the list. My goal-oriented self is a bully towards my rational self. But then I remember that lists are of my own making. I didn’t assign any deadlines or rules.

Rock on.

Here’s my update:

• buy a new house

We have not bought a new house yet. Sure, I have a dream house in mind. Ron always jokes that I’ve been shopping for that dream home for 40 years. He’s not wrong. But we’ve customized our current home over the years and then when the world went wonky, moving didn’t seem like such a great idea. I felt—and feel—fortunate for my safe refuge. We really do have a lovely home already. I asked myself: when is enough, enough? And like so many others, spending so much of our time at home during quarantine made us think about how we use our space. I needed to make a decision.

Fish or cut bait, right?

So, we remodeled the guest room into a gym and remodeled my office into an art studio, complete with a full sink and countertop. It’s my favorite, creative space. And that’s squelched my hunger for a new home. At least for now.

After we returned from Europe this spring, Ron’s dad became ill and after a few months, he passed away. Now, with no more parents to care for, we will explore the idea of moving once again.

Much has changed in the real estate world and I’m both excited and angst-ridden to learn and explore our options.

• travel to Amsterdam

Yes! DIY all the way—we took an epic five-country, 33-day epic European excursion. Think canals, castles, and cobblestones!

• visit the Anne Frank house

We planned our entire European trip around visiting the Anne Frank house. It served as the inspiration of our trip. I have so much to say and share about my experience. Stay tuned for more in future posts.

• read Anne Frank’s diary

In preparation for visiting the Anne Frank House, I read and/or watched:

• Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl
• Anne Frank’s Diary – The Graphic Adaptation
• A Small Light (TV miniseries).   This was the most helpful in understanding the situation. I highly recommend it.
• The Hiding Place (by Corrie Ten Boom – book gifted from a dear friend)
• The Hiding Place (movie, 1971)
• Took the virtual tour of The Secret Annex

• get fit and tone

I’m happy to report that I’m back in the gym four to five days a week and getting professional guidance.

• make new friends on my blog

Yes! The multifaceted effort it takes to blog allows me to meet and work with spectacularly talented and gracious women. Meeting weekly or monthly creates a special bond with people.

• plan an herb garden

I can’t live without an herb garden. This year it’s small, but I’ve learned you just need to devote a tiny area for herbs.

• release lighted lanterns in Thailand

This item has a place on a future list. This year we went back to Europe.

• crochet scarves for Christmas presents

Not completed. This should have been listed as knit scarves for Christmas presents, which I need to learn to do first. I bought the pattern and yarn, found a place to learn in person, but got waylaid by the pandemic. The project is tucked neatly in my DreamBox in a drawer all its own awaiting attention.

• go naturally gray. Eek!

Best…decision…ever! It wasn’t easy, but I love it. And so does Ron. I feel freer and more authentic in my natural state. I’ve always been an it-is-what-it-is gal. Of course I want to look younger, but here’s the thing:

Our skin tone changes with age just like our hair tone changes with age. My hair stylist taught me that. I saw a harshness in my face with my dyed hair—something off. Once naturally gray, really silver for me, everything softened. The color agrees with me more. And, strangely, I’ve been told I look younger. But the point is, I AM older. Growing older is a privilege and I’m grateful.

Also, it occurred to me that I wasn’t actually mourning my naturally dark brown hair color. I was mourning a fake color from a box. I lost my real color decades ago.

• create more abstract art

I’ve taken a variety of online abstract and mixed media art classes. I just love them. And with my DreamBox in my new studio…well, it’s just a dream.  I have much to learn but the journey is lovely and satisfying. I find creating and expressing my thoughts incredibly fulfilling and frankly, necessary for my well-being.

• more girls’-day-out days with Nicole

Can anyone ever get enough girls’-day-out days with Nicole?

• write a book

I did a deep dive into some tough subjects over the past few years and after much reflection, I feel healed. I hadn’t realized I held some childhood trauma, or at least I hadn’t realized its intensity. Writing—truthful writing, the kind that sends its tentacles into your soul—is painful and yet healing at the same time. My yearning to share such personal information wanes. Whether I write a book or not, the experience changed me for the better.

• practice yoga more

I practice yoga a few times a week now in our home gym. I really do love yoga and I love my Down Dog yoga app. 

• transfer all photos to digital

• …and give copies to family

This task is a doozy, time-wise and emotionally. I have picture from my own family’s life, but also those of my mother and her parents. I was never sure how to go about it.

However, when my father-in-law (Pa, to me) died, we needed to secure his pictures immediately lest they get lost in the trust/estate shuffle. I downloaded the Photomyne app and it proved amazing.  Several hours work over several days resulted in about 2,000 family photos saved. I captured every single photo my in-laws owned. It really is an easy activity. I was able to create a shared digital album for the family, too. I am amazed at what we can accomplish under pressure. And now the process doesn’t seem so daunting to complete my own family’s picture scanning. (Note: my best advice when scanning photos using Photomyne and your phone is to be near a window and to not use any artificial lights. Turn them all off. Every one. I learned this technique from a class I took at Light & Airy Presets.

• go on more hikes with Ron

Lots of hiking. Even in Switzerland!

• start geocaching

We didn’t go on any geocaching excursions. Perhaps in the future. Is it still a thing?

• decorate + furnish new home

We didn’t buy a new home yet, but but we did redecorate and refurnish the family room with a whole new vibe. We also turned our guest room into a gym. And…..we remodeled my loft office into a new art studio. Eek! See below.

• throw a big party for no reason

The pandemic halted all parties for a while and to date, we haven’t completed this. It remains a great idea for the next list though.

• write in my daily journal

Yes! Not always, but often.  This seems to be an all-or-nothing activity with me. This I know: I always feel better and am much more creative when I journal. And now, I’m adding art to my journals! Art journaling is therapeutic, enlightening, and all around great for my health.

• hunt for a new location of new house

I only recently subscribed to real estate apps again. It’s time to reassess. The pandemic fueled at-home workers to relocate driving home prices skyward in our dream locations.

• travel to Italy

We changed destinations and traveled to Switzerland, Germany, France, The Netherlands, and Belgium. Here’s the itinerary in case you missed it.Or you can click on the picture below.

• frame favorite pictures

I still need to do this for my personal pictures; however, I did frame art I purchased from street artist Vasco Londza in Montmartre, Paris, France. Here’s the art I purchased and had framed locally. I found choosing the frames daunting as I didn’t want to take away from the artist’s work. The frame is part of the aesthetic and really does make a difference in how the piece shows. I chose two different frames to create depth and to ensure the right balance of frame-to-picture. I used a contemporary hammered black wood frame and juxtaposed it with an antique-like silver frame for a modern (abstract), yet traditional feel because of the storied location (the famous antique artist village of Montmartre at the top of Paris). Also, I’ve included a picture of the artist’s paints and work area I took, hidden from tourists’ view (Surprise! All pens! *gasp!).

 

 

• redesign my office and art studio

Yes! The space makes me so happy. At my request and per my design, Ron even tiled a wall and added a sink, cabinets, and counter in the closet of our former loft office/bedroom. It’s a game changer. He also built a paper storage center on the wall behind the Dreambox door. He has many love languages for me and making my dreams come true is one of them. 💕

 

 

 

 

• go hiking with boys

We had many get togethers, but never went hiking. The great thing about hiking is that it’s always available—no reservations needed!

• vacation with grandkids

What a delight it is to go on vacation with our grandkids. We’ve been on several vacations these past few years. This year we had reservations to go camping in the Gualala forest along the coast, but we had to cancel the trip due to Pa’s illness.

• go the opera again

We’ve been to San Francisco many, many times, for many different events, including a cooking class, but we haven’t attended another opera.

• visit more farmer’s markets

We love visiting farmer’s markets—especially organic markets. We didn’t visit as many farmer’s markets as I had hoped. I guess I shop for groceries at Sprouts on autopilot. The whole point of making a list is to set an intention. But since we visit farmer’s markets when on vacation, I’m counting this as a success. Our favorite one is in Bayeux, France. They sold the most gorgeous, robust fruits and vegetables, lots of fresh seafood, tons of cheese (so many parts of Europe are obsessed with cheese), as well as live chicks, ducks, and rabbits. They animals were adorable, but I tried to convince myself that they were being sold for pets. Naive, perhaps?

 

• buy jewelry from an art show

Some people collect t-shirts, I collect jewelry. I get so much satisfaction from wearing a piece that instantly reminds me of a specific day.

I purchased this necklace at a Maker’s Market faire in Berkeley, California. The designer, Shari Milner, was wearing this piece. When I gushed about how perfect it was, she promptly took it off and sold it to me. I prefer to purchase from designers because my experience—my interaction with the artist—is often just as special as the piece I purchase.

From this one piece, I instantly recall the bright sun, the brisk breeze, the myriad of colorful stalls adorning the otherwise dull parking lot, college students selling baked goods on the corner near Peets Coffee, the violin player massaging the strings so vigorously his dreadlocks whipped the air. Shari’s vibe alone was worth the excursion. She dressed in colorful, loosely-formed clothing with an edge, what you’d think a California artist would wear. She exuded warmth and confidence like a best friend would so much so, I feel like we could meet for coffee at on a whim. We visited, we laughed, and like most of the endings in my adventures, we hugged.

 

• create abstract painting for family room

Not yet, but someday.

• sell a story or an art piece

Ditto to my above answer.

• go on an artist’s retreat

Does traveling to Montmartre, the artist’s village atop Paris count? It sure felt like a retreat. The experience certainly inspired me and gave me courage to just…..create.

• read more Emily Dickinson poems

I purchased two books: The Collected Poems of Emily Dickinson and Hope is the Thing with Feathers: The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson. My favorite poem still remains:

If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain;

If I can easy one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.

• orchestrate Nicole’s wedding 

I’ve never felt so honored than to be asked to plan and orchestrate my niece Nicole’s and her then fiancé Kevin’s wedding. With just a bit of guidance, she gave me full reign to create her fairytale. We were challenged with the COVID pandemic and had to reschedule three times! No matter the unprecedented challenges, Kevin’s friends and family and our friends and family worked together to make it all a reality. I’ve sworn off clichés, but it really does take a village….you know?

We held it in a historic airplane hangar along a riverbank in Northern California. The restored hangar with its curved wood ceiling is owned by a friend and is decorated with quirky memorabilia and personal treasures. I created all the wedding decor. Some highlights: I gathered lichen branches from a private property for the table centerpieces and memory tree. Ron cut all the wood signs—from parking instructions to table numbers— and I sanded, stained, and then labeled them with vinyl lettering using my Cricut machine. I hung a chandelier from the ceiling over the sweetheart table that I thrifted and Ron repaired (is there anything he can’t do?). The chandelier was unexpected and turned the historic, fun, working airplane hangar into an elegant fall night of significance on the river.

• visit with Christie more

I rarely see my sister, but when we get together it’s special. She is vivacious and thoughtful and I love her.

• buy new healthy cookware

After much research, I purchased non-stick, non-toxic Green Pans. I treat them as an heirloom because I love them. For example, I never stack them and I only store them with felt pan separators. I especially like them for frying eggs.

• river trip with Ron 

When I wrote this item, I meant in our own boat on the Delta where we live. And I wrote this because it’s Ron’s dream. (Squirrel! The key to a happy marriage is ensuring your spouse’s dreams come true). So I’m cheating a bit here, but it’s just too apt. We went on a Viking River Cruise down the Rhine River in Europe. When planning our Five-country European Escapade I had difficulty figuring out how to get from Switzerland to Amsterdam easily and still see castles and medieval towns without too much time spent traveling. Then the answer was mailed to me: a Viking River Cruise pamphlet. The cruise was, in a word, a DREAM. I’m overwhelmed just thinking about how I will someday try and convey just how spectacular the trip proved. Sharing our adventures is definitely in my plans. So, yeah. I took a river trip with Ron.

 

 

• glamping with Ron

We tried several times and each time, opted for a hotel. Glamping can be just as expensive as a hotel without the conveniences. Forget the cost, conveniences count. That said, we did actually go camping twice! Real camping with tents and sleeping bags and stars.

• explore new music

Spotify plays music all waking hours in my house, save for the television hours. I simply can’t be in my house with silence. Silence in the forest? Bring it on! In the car? Sure. Gardening? Well, okay, but a little Random Rab played softly in the background is nice. Silence in the house? Never.

Recently, I created some playlists. Since I listen to music all day, I need a variety to fit my mood or task. I listen to most everything except country. My favorites include alternative, pop, instrumental, classical, new age, folk, movie soundtrack, electronic, and jazz. I like the black keys, the minor notes the best. I especially like music that moves me, summons my emotion. I’ll say it: Schindler’s List movie theme is one of my favorite pieces of music. I can’t help it that they wrote it for a sad movie, which was apt and heart wrenching. In any case, whatever the label, I just like music that ignites emotion in me. I really can’t be pinned down to a genre.

Here’s my infant, just-created Spotify channel. Give it a whirl? I plan to create, much, much more.

• attend a writer’s workshop

Not yet.

• host more backyard parties

We’ve hosted many parties over the last few years: Thanksgiving, of course, the biggest event of the year for us with between 18 and 30 guests for a sit-down, formal-setting affair; a bridal shower for my niece; a baby shower for friends; and many Mother’s Day and Father’s Day get-togethers. Currently, we rarely host backyard parties.

• mount my art in current commercial art frames

Not yet.

• paint a piece to match mom’s 

I have yet to achieve this daunting endeavor.

• vacation by the ocean

We always seem to gravitate toward the ocean. Carmel-by-the-sea is a mainstay for us and we’ve visited many times. And each year we rent a house with friends and family in Bodega Bay, along the Northern California coastline, and go crab fishing over several days.

In addition, Ron and I also camped in Gualala (pronounced in the Indian language as “Wah-la-la”) on the Northern California coast and also took a day trip from there to Mendocino.

• help Wheels on Meals more

Ron and I donate money to Wheels on Meals regularly; however, I have yet to volunteer to deliver the meals. This organization delivers meals to people in their homes.

• host weekly dinners w/ Ma & Pa

We miss our dinners with Ron’s parents. We shared many, many meals with Pa after Ma passed away. Oh, the stories Pa would tell! His favorites, the ones he repeated, were of his time in the Army when he was stationed in Germany. Family time around a table is so precious. I’m so glad we were able to spend so much time with him before he passed.

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Whew! Thanks for hanging in there.

My theme for 2025 is AUTHENTICITY. I aim to cut out the noise and influences in society that affect me adversely and instead, celebrate and embrace the things that help me flourish and remain true to myself.

I’d love to hear about what your goals/word/list is for 2025. Please share in the comments!

I love making lists.

What’s on yours?

Light & Love,

Deborah